A Saturday morning conversation with my sister: Jill Bolte Taylor- On Saturday morning my sister was in the city dropping off her daughter for her final driving lesson. The prospect of my niece becoming a licensed driver is a scary one, though I don’t suppose it is any more frightening than the specter sixteen year old version of myself hitting the pavement. Chats with my only sibling are alway a welcome event. We are less than two years apart (she is of course older and just over a year away from 40) and we’ve always been close. After dropping off her daughter, she dropped by for a quick chat. As always, an interesting topic came to light. This one was unexpected as it took the form of Jill Bolte Taylor.
I suffer from anxiety. I have an internal monologue that never completely shuts off. Even when I am in conversation with someone, my brain is constantly humming and it is really distracting. It is not as though I am some Stephen Hawking like genius who is busy at work unraveling the secrets of the universe. No, my mind is usually fixated on some mundane detail from work, a scratch in the wall, or something which occurred more than a decade ago. If it was somehow productive at least it would be worthwhile, but alas it is not.
The topic of anxiety came up in my conversation with my sister and through the twist and turns conversations take, she announced she had been exposed to something very moving recently. She mentioned she had witnessed a talk given by Jill Bolte Taylor. I hadn’t heard of her before, but since I have a smart TV with a Youtube app, we pulled up the talk. Pretty amazing stuff.
While this talk is not directly related to multiple sclerosis, I found much of it applicable if not inspiring. I would be happy to learn to meditate in such a way just to shut the internal monologue off for even a few moments. I can only imagine being lucky enough to reach the “nirvana” she speaks of. I definitely live in my left brain and have trouble accessing my right. I find this interesting because most of my symptoms manifest themselves physically on my right side, which of course is controlled by the left hemisphere of my brain.
Probably something I should investigate further.
However, I shouldn’t waste space exposing you to the constant stream of thoughts that splatter through my left brain. I should let you experience this wonderful and beautiful talk for yourself. It will leave you much to consider.
Until next time,